Beneath - Original writing Essay Example for Free

Beneath Original writing Essay Psychoanalysis begins. Monday morning, it was a big rush. I had to pack the kids lunches and watch after them as they left for school. It was Kellys first day at junior school, and Michelles at secondary school. I dont know why, but as I shut the front door I had flash backs of my first day at secondary school. I got worried. Michelle is a lot like me when I was her age. To my children, I am a normal nice mother, ordinary like everyone elses mother. That is how they see me. They know nothing about my past It was an excruciatingly hot and sunny day July 30th 1993. I dreaded the moment the sunrise began. I felt a huge lump at the back of my throat, my head was pounding, and droplets of cold sweat trickled down my forehead. I used to be a normal, quiet, and well behaved person but, all that changed when I met Camryn Barnes. After the first three times, I promised myself I would never do it again. Yet here I was with the hammer in my hand smashing the new lock on the school gate. It fell to the ground making a loud sudden noise, which made me jump even though it was expected. I ran towards the school building, but the school doors were all locked up. After approximately an hour of struggling through one of the technology department windows, I managed to squeeze in. I ran to Dr Daniels office, pushing the door open. There, looking up at me with his beady black eyes was Cuddles Dr Daniels hamster. I had my equipment ready and then I opened the cage door picking up the small rodent with my trembling hands. I whispered to him in the darkness, Dont worry, itll only take a second. I reached into the back of my threadbare jeans pockets and pulled out the razor sharp penknife. Tears poured down my face. One, Two, Three. I did it. My hand was drenched in fresh, warm blood. I dropped Cuddles on the floor and retreated back to the technology department. I can still remember the cold beady eyed stare Cuddles had given me as I pulled the pocket knife out of him. I recollect a similar expression from the past victims. I got back to Camryn a lot quicker this time. Camryn was pacing outside and when she saw me she signalled to me to hurry up. I half jogged and half ran. When I reached her, she caught hold of my wrist and pulled me along with her. I glanced at her beautiful tanned face and saw the contented smile displayed along her lips. I could almost hear her heartbeat, and taste her idea of sweet satisfaction. When we reached her house, she dragged me to her bedroom then leapt onto her red crumpled bed and kicked off her scuffed trainers. Did you do it? Did you top the pint sized rat? she asked with enthusiasm. There was a malicious gleam in her green eyes. I nodded staring at my sweaty bloodstained hands. There was a huge lump in the back of my throat, my stomach churned. I couldnt take it any more, You said wed never do it again! Wasnt killing Jackies budgie, Peters cat and Ellies turtle enough? Why Dr Daniels hamster? Why? Camryn stood up with a frown creasing up near her finely plucked eyebrows. Whats wrong with you? Dr Daniels failed me in English! I worked so hard for him! He got what he deserved! A sudden anger flushed through my body, Like the others got what they deserved?! Looking at Camryn, and seeing her satisfied realization from her manipulation, I had to leave. I walked home, showered and then lay in bed. I remember glancing at my digital clock it read 6:16am. I tried so hard, but failed to fall asleep. It was only a few hours, but seemed like days passing by. Eventually my mother came into my room to see why I was not ready for school. I dont feel well, I murmured. Mother carelessly shook her head and left me alone. A month ago I used to be really close to my mother, but now I just seem to want to push her away and out of my life. It was almost as if I surrendered everything I loved for Camryn. My mother, my old friends and, my self respect. Eventually I fell asleep. Beneath my closed eyes, my thoughts swivelled in front of my eyes. All I saw was beautiful, cold water, ripples glistening. That was where I wanted to be. I woke up and changed into my favourite clothes. I knew what I was doing. I felt dizzy but ignored the queasy feeling. I sat on the floor and scribbled a note for my mother. I used to write little poems to my mother ages ago. I knew that was what I had to do now. I still remember what I wrote in the poem, word for word. June year 1993, on the 25th day, The day I changed, stopped to pray, I made promises, made to break, But itll be over, whilst I lie in this lake, I feel like Im, spiralling into a deep dark hole, Hopefully this depth, can contain my soul, What Im trying to say, dear mother, Im Sorry, For pretending to be so upbeat and jolly, Sorry mum, I didnt mean to, Ill be thinking of you through and through.

How Music Works Essay -- Music Musical Essays

How Music Works The way in which music affects the human organism is complex. Attempts to explain the relationship between the organized sound which we call music and our responses to it fall into two broad classes, heteronomist theories and autonomist theories, although the boundaries between the two may be by no means watertight. That music causes a response in humans is undeniable, but does it do so by some form of direct appeal to our inner selves, our emotional sides, as the proponents of heteronomist theories argue, or, does it do so, as the autonomist argues, by virtue of some intrinsic property that it has within itself that is peculiar to music? Music cannot convey meaning or express emotion in the way that language conveys meaning or expresses emotion. Language employs signs which, to use Saussure's terms, are arbitrary and differential, but signs which nevertheless enable us to identify their referent. Music, like language, consists of organized sounds, but unlike language, those sounds have no referent. Eduard Hanslick wrote The Beautiful in Music in 1854 and any explanation and evaluation of his claim that 'the essence of music is sound and motion' must have regard to historical context in determining the author's meaning. For Hanslick 'music' meant principally the instrumental and orchestral works of the 18th Century and first half of the 19th Century, the period we might loosely call 'classical'- music whose 'primordial element' was 'euphony' (The beautiful in music, TAB, p.421). Hanslick's views cannot easily be extrapolated to the late 2Oth Century where even a period of silence (4'33" by John Cage) can claim to be 'music'1, a 'composition' which underlined, albeit provocatively, that silence, as well as s... ...cohol and grape juice and its mysteries are not revealed by distillation. The essence of music, certainly of great music, is more than its ingredients, it requires the passion of the soul and the logic of the intellect - a combination of nature's gifts and skilled human endeavour, an endeavour both of composer and of performer. BIBLIOGRAPHY Footnotes and other reference material 1. John Cage 4' 33'' (Probably his most provocative piece is 4' 33'' in which the performer, seated in front of the piano, plays nothing for 4 minutes and 33 seconds) Groliers. 2. Tess Knighton, Decca Notes 1989 to Ashkenazy & Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. The Oxford Companion to the Mind. OUP 1987. The Oxford Companion to music OUP 1980 reprint. Groliers Academic American Encyclopedia. Blackwell Companion to the Enlightenment. Yolton, Blackwell 1991.

The Joy Luck Club

joyHigh-context Cultures and Low-context Cultures The Joy Luck Club  explores the clash between Chinese culture and American culture. One way of understanding the difference is to look at communication in these cultures. Chinese culture can be classified as a high-context culture and American culture as a low-context culture. First I will define these terms, then explain the significance of these two categories, and finally apply them to The Joy Luck Club. * Culture  is the way of living which a group of people has developed and transmitsfrom one generation to the next.It includes concepts, skills, habits of thinking and acting, arts, institutions, ways of relating to the world, and agreement on what is significant and necessary to know. Race, ethnicity, class, and gender are cultural creations; they derive their meanings from the culture. * Context  is the whole situation, background, or environment connected to an event, a situation, or an individual. * A  high-context cult ure  is a culture in which the individual has internalized meaning and information, so that little is explicitly stated in written or spoken messages.In conversation, the listener knows what is meant; because the speaker and listener share the same knowledge and assumptions, the listener can piece together the speaker's meaning. China is a high-context culture. * A  low-context culture  is one in which information and meanings are explicitly stated in the message or communication. Individuals in a low-context culture expect explanations when statements or situations are unclear, as they often are. Information and meaning are not internalized by the individual but are derived from context, e. . , from the situation or an event. The United States is a low-context culture. High-context Cultures In a high-context culture, the individual acquires cultural information and meaning from obedience to authority, through observation and by imitation. To acquire knowledge in this way and to internalize it, children must be carefully trained. High-context cultures are highly stable and slow to change, for they are rooted in the past; one example is the Chinese practice of ancestor worship. They are also unified and cohesive cultures.In such cultures, the individual must know what is meant at the covert or unexpressed level; the individual is supposed to know and to react appropriately. Others are expected to understand without explanation or specific details. Explanations are insulting, as if the speaker regards the listener as not knowledgeable or socialized enough to understand. To members of a low-context culture, speakers in a high-context culture seem to talk around a subject and never to get to the point. The bonds among people are very strong in a high-context culture.People in authority are personally and literally responsible for the actions of subordinates, whether in government, in business, or in the family. (In the U. S. , on the other hand, the general practice is to find a â€Å"fall guy† or scapegoat who takes the blame for those with more power and status. ) In a high-context culture, the forms (conventional ways of behaving) are important; the individual who does not observe the forms is perceived negatively; the negative judgments for an individual's bad behavior may extend to the entire family.In embarrassing or awkward situations, people act as though nothing happened. Individuality, minor disagreements, and personality clashes are ignored, so that no action has to be taken. Taking action tends to be taken seriously, because once started an action must generally be completed. Individuals can't stop an action because they change their minds, because they develop another interest, because unforeseen consequences arise, or because something better comes along.Consequently there is greater caution or even reluctance to initiate an undertaking or to give a promise. Chinese parents may overlook a child's behavior, because they expect that the strong family tradition, which is based on ancestors, will cause the child ultimately to behave properly. The Clash of Low-context and High-context Cultures in  The Joy Luck Club In a low-context culture, as Edward T. Hall explains, â€Å"Most of the information must be in the transmitted message in order to make up for what is missing in the context (both internal and external). In a low-context culture change is rapid and easy; bonds between people are looser; action is undertaken easily and can be changed or stopped once initiated. The mothers in  The Joy Luck Club  expect their daughters to obey their elders and so learn by obedience, by observation and by imitation, as they did in China. Their elders did not explain. Because the mothers internalized values and knowledge, they seem to assume that knowledge is innate and that it is present in their daughters and only has to be brought out or activated.The internalization is so psychologically complete and so much a part of the mothers' identities that they speak of it as physical. Am-mei, for instance, sees in her mother â€Å"my own true nature. What was beneath my skin. Inside my bones† (p. 40); to her, connection to her mother or filial respect is â€Å"so deep it is in your bones† (p. 41). But in this country, the mothers' warnings, instructions, and example are not supported by the context of American culture, and so their daughters do not understand. They resent and misinterpret their mothers' alien Chinese ways and beliefs.Similarly, the mothers do not understand why they do not have the kind of relationships with their daughters that they had with their mothers in China. The Joy Luck mothers were so close to their own mothers that they saw themselves as continuations of their mothers, like stairs. The communication problems that arise when one speaker is from a high-context culture and the other is from a low-context culture can be seen in the conversations of June and Suyuen, â€Å"My mother and I never really understood one another.We translated each other's meanings and I seemed to hear less than what was said, while my mother heard more† (p. 27). June looks for meaning in what is stated and does not understand that her mother omits important information because she assumes her daughter knows it and can infer it; her mother, on the other hand, looks for meaning in what has not been stated and so adds to what has been stated explicitly and comes up with meanings that surprise her daughter.The difficulties of growing up in a family from a high-context culture and living in a low-context culture appear in other Asian-American writers. The narrator of Maxine Hong Kingston's  The Woman Warrior  is unable to decide whether figures she sees are real persons or ghosts, whether stories she is told are true or fiction, what the meaning of those stories is, why she is told the stories, and whether an event really happens or is imagi ned. The Talk Story One way of maintaining and instructing children in traditional ways which Chinese immigrants adopted is the traditional Chinese talk story.According to Linda Ching Sledge, the talk story â€Å"served to redefine an embattled immigrant culture by providing its members immediate, ceremonial access to ancient lore†; it also â€Å"retained the structure of Chinese oral wisdom (parables, proverbs, formulaic description, heroic biography, casuistical dialogue). † In the talk-story the narrator expects the listener to grasp the point, which is often not stated (unlike the Western  Aesop's Fables). Tan adopts the Chinese talk story in the mothers' warning stories to their daughters.The talk story serves another function in this novel; E. D. Huntley explains, Talk story enables women who have been socialized into silence for most of their lives–the  Joy Luck  mothers, for instance–to reconfigure the events of those lives into acceptable p ublic utterances: painful experiences are recast in the language of folk tale; cautionary reminders become gnomic phrases; real life takes on the contours of myth. More significantly, the act of performing talk story allows the storyteller to retain a comfortable distance between herself and her audience.Thus, the storyteller manages in some fashion to maintain the silence to which she is accustomed, as well as to speak out and share with others the important stories that have shaped her into the person that she is. An issue for both mothers and daughters is finding a voice, that is, finding a way to express the essential self. Themes in  The Joy Luck Club Identity. The stories tell of events which shape the identities of the mothers and daughters and give direction to their lives.Though David Denby is speaking of the movie, his description applies equally well to the novel, â€Å"each story centers on a moment of creation or self-destruction in a woman's life, the moment when he r identity becomes fixed forever. † The mothers do not question their identities, having come from a stable culture into which their families were integrated. Their daughters, however, are confused about their identities. Communication between American daughters and Chinese mothers.The mothers see their duty as encouraging and, if necessary, pushing their daughters to succeed; therefore, they feel they have a right to share in their success (the Chinese view). The daughters see the mothers as trying to live through them and thereby preventing them from developing as separate individuals and from leading independent lives (the American view). The link of the Chinese mothers and Chinese daughters. The Chinese mothers form a continuity with their mothers in China, a connection which they want to establish with their American daughters.Love, loss, and redemption. Throughout there exists what David Gates calls a â€Å"ferocious love between mother and daughter† both in China and in this country. But the women also suffer loss, which ranges from separation to abandonment to rejection, in the mother-daughter relationship and in the male-female relationship. Sometimes the loss is overcome and the love re-established. Connection of the past and the present. The mothers' past lives in China affect their daughters' lives in this country, just as the daughters' childhood experiences affect their identities and adult lives.Power of language. Without proficiency in a common language, the Chinese mothers and American daughters cannot communicate. St. Clair cannot communicate with his wife, and so he changes her name and her birth date, taking away her identity as a tiger. Lena St. Clair mistranslates for her father and for her mother. Also, words have great power. Expectation and reality. The mothers have great hopes for their daughters; their expectations for their daughters include not just success but also freedom.They do not want their daughters' lives to be determined by a rigid society and convention, as in an arranged marriage, and made unhappy as theirs were. The American reality fulfilled their expectations in unanticipated and unacceptable ways. Another way of expressing this theme is The American Dream and its fulfillment. Chinese culture versus American culture. This conflict appears throughout the novel, from the struggles of the mothers and daughters to Lena St. Clair's Chinese eyes and American appearance and Lindo Jong's Chinese face and her American face.

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